CHANGE IS NECESSARY
Refusing to change for the better is a form of insanity
It doesn’t matter who you are. As long as you live on this earth you have to adjust to change, and this may require adopting or getting rid of certain habits or lifestyles to balance your life. If you do not, you may experience things you are not prepared for. When you refuse to change, you are refusing to grow. It is like expecting a baby to always stay a baby. Have you ever dealt with someone who is set in their ways? You’re trying to show them a new and better way of doing something, but they refuse to learn. I can remember talking to a client who had been battle mental health issues. Although he would take his medication regularly, he still refuse to see that drinking alcohol was having an adverse effect on his desire to improve on his mental health so he could get back to a normal way of life. No matter how many times professionals warned him of the danger in combining the two, he felt that since it wasn’t “hard core drugs” he was using, it he didn’t see any harm.
Refusing to change for the better is a form of insanity. It’s like shooting yourself in the foot and expecting to walk as you always had. When you refuse to grow, you are refusing to improve, and it doesn’t matter how small the change may seem. How would you like to keep using those old flip phones for texting and internet searches? It would be utterly time frustrating wouldn’t it.
As the world evolves, we must also in whatever way necessary. That doesn’t mean we have to conform to every change out here because some stuff can be left where it is. Of Course, we must always use wisdom and discretion, but also don’t be so set in our ways about things we are not open to new ideas. Think about it, our world went from driving a horse and buggy to cars that had to be cranked to run, to fully operational vehicles, and now automobiles that can practically drive themselves. It is amazing how God allows us to use our creativity and the imagination he gave us to grow, improve, excel and abound to greater things. We must always be open to learning and growing because change can be a good thing and some changes are necessary.
Stay open, but also stay alert.
Amy
This Is NOT The Way . . . .
Don't always assume the worst just because you might be feeling rejected
Have you ever planned out how you think a relationship would be going, only for it to turn out the complete opposite? This person whom you’ve grown to love so much; the good and the bad had become a regular part of your life. Months or years later you’re wondering how did we get so far off track? We were so good together. We were inseparable and could even finish each other’s sentences. We always knew what the other was thinking, even when nothing was said. You were in sync or should I say synchronized like a plug to a socket or a hand to a glove. Whatever your refences point, now you find yourself reminiscing over the past, but now it’s mostly focused on the bad things and all the bad stuff overrides the good ones. Pretty soon you can’t remember the last time the two of you actually enjoyed each other’s company. I am not just talking about spouses or intimate relationships. It can be a parent and child, a long-time friendship that drifted apart or a working relationship lost.
Our lives can take a sudden change like a train jumping off a track. Sometimes it just derails. You didn’t see it coming and you never intended for the relationship to go that way. So, you beat yourself up ad if you’re not doing that then you want to beat the other person up.
The reality is that people change. Life with its twist and turns, problems, influences, and so many things unnamed can derail the best of relationships. Broken relationships are not always about someone cheating on another. It can be as simple as someone experiencing something traumatic in their life that completely alters their view of how they see themselves and this seeps into their relationships. It can be a person who has experienced a serious health issue that makes them question things. Don’t always assume the worst just because you might be feeling rejected or unloved at the moment. Have you considered the possibility of what the person may be going through and why?
The human mind is a fascinating thing. How we think about ourselves can alter and affect how we react to others. By the time you are no longer feeling that strong bond you start to react to how the person is treating you. But why are they acting that way? Of course, you didn’t want things to go that way but now here you are. Could it be a misunderstanding? My advice is before you throw in the towel or start to lash out at the very one you’ve held as the “apple of your eye,” sit down with them and see what may have happening that has caused such an abrupt change. Most people don’t change suddenly like that unless there are extenuating circumstances at play and often it is something out of their control. They may need some space and/or time to get back to how the two of you were before this.
My point is, never, ever “throw the baby out with the bathwater’ before you do a thorough check. You could do yourself a great disservice which can be detrimental. You don’t want to lose someone so valuable just because of how you’re thinking things should be.
Be Your Best Always,
Amy
'TIME TO LEVEL UP'
'It’s time for all the critics to back off
Self-Awareness is the ability to tune into who you are and your own feelings, thoughts, and actions. You recognize how you feel about yourself, your strengths, and weaknesses. The are very aware of what you find challenging. Even when you don’t want to deal with certain things because you know what you are capable of you’ve managed to work through it. Why is personal awareness so important? Because it gives you the power to face yourself first, which allows you to know what your strengths and limitations are and when you need a little help.
Self-awareness aides in your being a better decision maker. When you know yourself pretty darn well, you can compensate for any short coming, but still be able to maintain a level of confidence. Also, you’re not so easily influenced by external forces coming at you. For instance, There was a time when you mother-in-law came to visit, you’d break your neck trying to make sure the kids were dressed in their finest attire; the house was spotless, and a four-course dinner was on the table. You wanted her to always see the best in you, but no matter how much you tried, this woman always found something to nick-pick about. Trust me, it’s not you. I had one of those at one time as well. She always comes throwing shade at you (criticizing). She pretends to be concerned about you but all the while she’s plucking at you indirectly. It may go something like this: “Oh dear, it looks like you haven’t had time to clean up, do you need help.”
She knows that your kids play and sometimes leave toys, clothes and whatever else all around the house and besides, she came in the middle of the gosh-darn day and it’s the weekend. What does she expect of you? How hypocritical of her. I bet if you could go back in time when she was raising your now husband and his siblings, you’d probably see a house messier than yours is right now. Regrettably, there she goes again insinuating you keep a dirty house and even if you did, it’s your house, not hers.
I want you to listen to me carefully, my sister. You know by no means owe her any explanation. You know who you are, and what it takes for you to get through the day-to-day hustle and bustle; between raising children, a job, household chores, preparing meals and so on. At this point, you have enough self-reliance to know what you are capable of. You are not an energizer-bunny.
You are not going to let this ‘old bag’ (don’t tell your husband, LOL) frustrate you into making you think that you are not sufficient. She’s like a woodpecker, always peck, peck, pecking at you. I know what you’ve been imagining for a long time, so go ahead . . .SLAP HER, why don’t you and tell her to get the #%$@ out of your house. NO, please don’t do that.
I was just kidding, wrong action. Contrary to what some people think, cursing at someone won’t solve the problem, but it just may make you angrier so don't go that way.
Here’s an example of how you show your resilience; OPTION A, with an “I know who I am" confident smile you firmly and politely look her in the eyes, without breaking sweat; you reply with something like, “why yes, aren’t you glad you don’t live here?” If she replies to what you just said, you’ve already made your point. Ignore any other comment she makes and walk away to let her know what you said to you is not important.
OPTION B goes something like this, “well, you’re just in time to do it for me, let me get you a broom,” and you get it and hand it to her, then jubilantly walk away to do something else. At the very least you will get some free house cleaning for the day.
It is for people to forget they went through the same things. Even if you know she doesn’t like you, it doesn’t matter, you know who you are. It is your house, your domain, and your family, not hers. You married her son, not her and contrary to what some families like to believe, you are not married to the entire family. Stop allowing others to intimidate you. You’d be surprised by all the hidden things they don’t want you to know about, while they vehemently judge all your faults. It’s time for all the critics to “back off. ” You know who you are, and you have no reason to be ashamed. If there is a deficiency, work on it, but don’t let anyone disturb your peace or treat you like a broken piece that only they can put back together. Focus on areas where you’re lacking and work on it. You cannot and should not worry about situations you have no control over or cannot change. Don’t make decisions in haste because you feel inadequate now. Take a step back, think, pray, observe, and get clarity and understanding before taking a dive into unfamiliar territory.
Self-awareness starts with learning who and what works for you and what it takes to keep you feeling good about yourself and the things you do. It doesn’t matter if you’ve made mistakes. No one on this planet hasn’t stumbled a few times and regretted it. Don’t beat yourself up about what you didn’t get right. It’s time to focus on what you did and do well.
You’re moving onward, and upward, plotting a course toward a stronger and more positive feeling about yourself. You will get so good at what you do and how you feel that if or when someone comes along trying to discourage you or make you feel deficient, your self-confidence kicks in, as if automatic. You’ll start to notice how negative comments, slander, and harsh criticisms don’t trouble you and leave you feeling as low as an ant.
When your self-awareness becomes stronger and your self-confidence rises, you won’t be affected as before by situations (or persons) who tried to put you down; that is when you’ve come to realize you haven’t just conquered that mountain, you’re at the top and “feeling no pain.” Congrats on leveling up!
This Is NOT The Way
Exploring the Beauty of Paris
Paris is a city that has always fascinated me. From the Eiffel Tower to the Louvre Museum, I have visited all the popular attractions. However, my favorite part of the city is its charming cafes and bakeries.
Finding Peace in the Mountains of Switzerland
Switzerland is a dream destination for many, and I was lucky enough to visit this beautiful country last summer. The mountains and lakes took my breath away, and I found solace in the serenity of nature.
Discovering the Rich Culture of India
India is a country that is close to my heart. I spent a month traveling across the length and breadth of the country, experiencing its diverse culture, delicious food, and warm hospitality.
Adventures in the Land Down Under
Australia is a land of adventure, and I had my fair share of it during my visit. From surfing in Byron Bay to hiking in the Blue Mountains, I experienced the best that this country has to offer.
Exploring the Beauty of Bali
Bali is a paradise on earth, and I felt like I was living in a dream during my visit. The beaches, temples, and rice fields were all breathtaking, and I left with a sense of peace and rejuvenation.
Uncovering Hidden Gems in South America
South America is a continent that is often overlooked by travelers, but it has so much to offer. From the colorful streets of Cartagena to the majestic ruins of Machu Picchu, I discovered some hidden gems that left me in awe.
DON’T CATCH IT – COMPLAINING
Constant complaining affects you emotionally and spiritually. It diminishes your discernment.
I have a friend who I love dearly but I declare almost every time we talk she’s complaining about something. It can be as simple as the winter. It doesn’t matter that she’s been leaving in that city for over 25 years knowing the seasons and changes in the winter occur around the same time each year, but nooooo she has to complain: it’s too hot or it’s too cold; it’s raining too much, the people on my job sucks, that was a bad date I went on, the neighbors are on my lawn again and it continued ALL OF THE TIME. Over the years she got worse. I would try to ignore most of it or change the conversation, but it got to the point where I sometimes I didn’t answer the phone when she called (don’t tell her).
Complaining is a bad habit that anyone can easily catch. It doesn’t solve anything. The more you complain, the more you’ll find yourself complaining, and so the cycle continues. You get my drift?
You can actually have a complaining nature, a complaining spirit and not realize it. It may seem harmless, and it may even start out as something trivial like complaining about the kids, neighbors, the weather or your boss. But watch and see that as the days and months go by you’ll find yourself complaining more frequently about nearly everything, big or small.
Have you ever noticed that when you’re around someone who complains a lot you find yourself complaining too? It’s like catching a bad cold from someone that’s hard to get rid of. Complaining doesn’t just affect adults, kids can catch it too.
My Complaining Toddler
My daughter was only about 3 or 4 years old at the time. She never really when through the babble stage. When she was one, she jumped from not talking to saying big words and holding conversations as if she was 8. My husband at that time was a complainer but his complaints were mostly directed toward me. We lived together so obviously she heard things even if she didn’t understand everything. It didn’t take long before this little toddler was complaining about everything: the doll house, her cloths, the cartoons on TV, friends, the food and so on. I didn’t do anything about it at first but after a few months of this scrap I was sick of her complaints. “For God sake, you’re a toddler you’re getting almost everything you want why is the world are you complaining so much?” I couldn’t take it anymore, so I started restricting and taking away her privileges every time she opened her mouth with an unnecessary complaint. It didn’t take her long to break away from that. She soon realized that Mommy wasn’t giving in so easily and she didn’t like having her privileges taken away so often either.
If you’re frequent the company of someone who complains constantly and unnecessarily, you will find yourself doing it. The disappointing and drastic side to a complainer is they alone will drive away sometimes the very thing or people that adds the most to their lives because they get enthralled into only seeing the negative and are blinded by all the positive and good things. Complaints affects you emotionally and spiritually and diminishes your discernment of yourself and others.
The bible tells us to focus and think on things that are lovely, pure, just, honest, and offer good reports. God knows what complaining will do. Philippians 4:8
Their Complaints Delayed Their Blessing
When the children of Israel left Egypt after being salves in bondage for over 400 years they walked through the wilderness it didn’t take them long to start complaining about things: the food, lack of water and other stuff. It made God angry. God doesn’t like complaining. He is our provider and he told us to ask in his name. What he didn’t say was complain about it. As a result of their complaints, they ended up wandering through the wilderness for another 40 years.
Complaining Is Harmful
Complaining may sound harmless, but it’s dangerous. It may start with you complaining about the line being too long in the grocery store or the car in front of you driving too slowly, then it’s escalates to complaints about the neighbors or ones you live with. Before long you’re complaining or arguing or even fighting. Hovering over a complaint too long can escalate to anger or angry outbursts. Don’t believe it? Watch some of these real life shows on TV or on social media where a complaint erupts into a verbal and physical altercation. It started with a complaint.
My best advice to you is avoid people who are always complaining and most especially those who you find carry an angry spirit. Being around complaining people too often is addictive and makes you susceptible to it. It breeds negative emotions that can spiral out of control. Frankly I’d rather spend my time enjoying the best life has to offer to the people I love and who love me.
Don’t be so quick to complain. You don’t want to be remembered that way Be care not to complain yourself out of a blessing. Most people are drawn to positive energy. Think optimistically, learn to talk more positively and you will attract more and repel less.
Be Your Best Always
Amy.
'CAREFUL..... YOUR HORNS ARE SHOWING'
Watch the video enactment on my Youtube channel https://youtu.be/bG7_h7lIbUE and subscribe
"Some People Think They Carry and "unlimited rudeness card" with them they can use at any time"
Watch this video on my Youtube channel https://youtu.be/bG7_h7lIbUE
I was sitting in a restaurant trying to eat in a hurry while reading through my notes before my presentation. I overheard a customer talking rather loudly and rudely to the waiter. It obviously caught my attention as with a few others nearby. The customer was making ridiculous complaints about nothing. First it was that she didn’t like where they seated her, then it was the drink, followed by her complaints about the meal and so on. The waiter always kept her composure and was quite professional and I admired that. I admit it was noisy in the restaurant but it’s to be expected with a lunch crowd in a downtown business district. The customer continued to complain and then even after they finished, she had the nerve to demand a refund for the meal because she said the food was not cooked well. I wanted to personally go over a say “hey lady, you need to get a grip, you just ate most your food and now you want to complain? Sounds like you’re trying to get a free meal.”
When the waiter didn’t offer it to her she asked for the manager and fortunately he wasn’t there, so she yelled at her some more. Eventually, she left but not without saying a few more choice words to the waiter. From observation this probably wasn’t the first time she had done this.
We find a lot of this kind of hostility in the service industry these days. Some people must think they carry an “unlimited rudeness card” with them. They are always on edge about little of nothing. The way the customer acted is a lot like how some people treat others; especially ones they don’t know. They take the position that if you are serving them you are supposed to endure whatever they throw at you.
I am here to deliver a message to those who treat others with hostility and rudeness: “BE CAREFUL, YOUR HORNS ARE SHOWING”. You’re acting like the devil you can be. The bible says, “you reap what you sow.” It means, whatever you dish out to someone you can expect it to return to you at some point ------just like a boomerang.
Matthew 22:39 tells us we should “love our neighbor as we love ourselves.” Ephesians 4 reminds us to “Be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as Christ forgives and treats you.” And “Do not let corrupt talk come out of your mouth. Learn to be pleasant and kin. It it really so hard to be courteous?
Perhaps you had a bad day, or someone treated you badly, don’t take it out on anyone else. Always ask yourself before you act viciously, is this the way I would want someone to treat me? If you said no, then change your demeanor. No one has to tell you when you’re being rude and nasty, you know it.
If you answered yes, or you just don’t care then keep in mind at some point you will meet up with the same and it just maybe from someone you like or admire…that would hurt.
God has a way of allowing us to experience things to teach us, when we fail to see in ourselves or refuse to correct what we know we should.
My motto --------
Be You Best Always
Take Care
Amy.
PERSONAL GROWTH & RELATIONSHIPS
NOT MY BODY....... BUT MY HEART PART I - (for women)
Oh, my goodness. I know how it feels to be in love. Oh, the feeling of belonging, the attention, the sweet hugs and kisses that makes you feel so warm and tingly all over. You’ve fallen deep. It's so deep, not even a bulldozer could pull you out. You eat, drink, sleep, even work love. You want more and more and just a few minutes of a day without being in his presence sometimes seems unbearable.
The problem here is that you've not only surrendered your heart, but your body as well. I need you to hold on for a moment and allow me to share something with you. As you know we are emotional creatures. We thrive on attention and love. It doesn’t matter who you are, at some point in your life you want attention and you want to be loved, so don’t pretend that you’re not interest or that you don't desire attention.
When we finally find who we think is the one, OH MY GOSH, it makes us feel like we’re the princess, the queen of the entire world. We think we have found eternal bliss. Our head’s spinning, heart's palpitating and our body tends to follow. “YES, YES TAKE ME,” our body screams and without having any restraint, you've given in, almost every time. But after a few months or days and sometimes less everything seems to have stopped. He pulled away and seemingly lost interest. You're doing everything you can to help get it back the way it was the very first time, but nothing is working.
Now listen to me you beautiful woman, it’s time to, take a time out because you're repeatedly running into this same thing. This is the moment where you stop to think, “What am I doing?” You’ve given all of you, not just your heart but your body and yet, it did not seem like it was enough.
The Bible reminds us about “fleeing fornication” in II Corinthians 6:18-19. Notice it says “flee” in other words, do not walk away, RUN!. God knows what sexual intimacy can do and it's hard to let go when you've surrendered your body because it is your sanctuary, your personal space you've given up.
Oh yes you had that physical attraction, that chemistry. it was pleasure for sure but what about the consequences?
Come on now, he is not going to turn it down----most men don’t if they are also interested. He is a man, but if he says he really does love you, and really, really wants you in his life forever then don't you think he should be willing to wait? Is it really all that necessary to rush into it?
We know how society has painted intimacy on social media, television, movies, books and magazines. Sexual encounters, casual sex, is painted as normal and if you do not do it something is wrong with you. That’s so twisted.
So, you get into a relationship with a guy that you like a lot. You go to bed with him, but just because you had sex with him doesn’t mean he was falling in love or loved you.
Have you allowed yourself time to really get to know each other? Do you communicate and if so what do you talk about?
Before you took it to the bedroom did you get to know….
●What kind of person he is?
●What he likes or does not like?
●How does he treats others like his family and friends?
●What kind of decisions has he made in the past and now?
●What kind of relationship he had in his past, how long did it last and why did it end?
●How does he treat women?
●How does he handle stress?
●What is he looking for in a relationship? friendship, dating, intimacy,
marriage?
●What are his expectations of the woman he intends to spend the rest of his life with or if he's even interested in marriage, if so what is his timeline?
Obviously, you don’t have to find all of this out on the first few dates, but don’t make the mistake of thinking that what you may feel for him because you slept with him is reciprocated. You have to ask questions, observe and study who he is and how he handles himself with you and people he’s around. Remember, anyone can pretend until they get what they want.
The Bible says that you have to learn who your friends are (Proverbs 12:16) If you take time to know who he is, and you give him time to know who you are, then you won't just know the surface stuff. You will know more about who you are dealing with because after all of the heat and the passion is gone, what do you have left? Chances are you won’t know much if you always sleeping with him. Being on your back is not the way to get to know the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
Reflection Story
A woman shared her dating experience with me. She told me she dated for a few months (6-8). She was intimate with the guy within the first six weeks. She shared how wonderful the intimacy was for the first few weeks. She honestly thought that he loved her, and she was very much in love with him. She was a middle aged woman and wanted a husband not a boyfriend. When she started to get serious and asking him questions about taking it to the next level, he told her that he was not ready and stated that he didn’t see why they couldn’t just keep things as that were since they were doing okay together. Her spirit was crushed, her heart just sunk. After that, he started to realize that she wanted more, so he began pulling away, calling and texting less, spending less time with her, avoiding her calls and soon thereafter he told her that he was not interested any longer and wanted to move on. Since this wasn’t the first time encountering something like this, once again she’s left with heartache.
Decide what it's going to be
Make sure you pray. “God, is this the right man for me?” “Is this the one that is going to complete my life?” Everybody that says that they love you and desire you don't always mean what they say. There is a reason why the Bible says that the man and the woman marry, and then they become one in the eyes of God.
There is a blessing in Unity. There is a blessing in the union of marriage.
Some may say, “It’s just a piece of paper.” Sure, it may be for some people, but in the eyes of God, it is a union that he blesses. Physically intimacy is also one of the things that brings a married couple closer. God created intimacy.
A. If possible, DO NOT get into a physical/sexual relationship with someone that you're casually dating and most especially before you get to know who he really is. If he really loves you and says that he loves you, he'll be willing to wait. If he's not willing to wait and he's constantly pressuring you, you may want to think about how he would be if you did marry him or what will be do once you do sleep him. Will he stick around?
●Is he patient? Is he gentle and understanding with you, and not from a sexual aspect?
●Does he treat you with love and respect? Or is it always when you two get together you're head straight to the bedroom. That is not love that’s that’s lust.
B. Think before you dive into another relationship after you just got out of one that didn’t end well. The last thing you need is another ripped heart again; you’re tattered and torn, broken, and hurt. There’s only so much pain you can take. When you do not allow yourself time to heal most likely you will take these issues into another relationship and it will yield the same results.
TAKE A TIMEOUT, WON’T YOU…
Love yourself enough to allow yourself to wait.
Love him enough to allow him to want to wait.
He has to know up front -“IT’S NOT MY BODY BUT MY HEART THAT YOU’RE PLAYING WITH!"
By Your Best Always
Amy
IS YOUR PRIDE [ego] HIDING YOUR TRUE IDENTITY?
Pride comes before a fall!
PRIDE HIDES YOUR TRUE IDENTITY
Pride is like weeds, you can cut it down, but it does not take long to grow back. The dictionary describes pride as a feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own accomplishments. But that's not the kind of pride I'm talking about. I'm talking about the kind of pride where it's excessive; blocking you from showing who you really are.
Pride (and one’s ego) will always force you to hide your true identity; especially what you’re feeling inside. No one is immune from having pride. It is not exclusive to a certain race or gender. Yes, it’s true people tend to exhibit pride a lot more if their ego or when someone judges them in a way they don’t wish to be portrayed. But when it comes to relationships, especially intimate relationships such as a husband and wife, or even dating partners, sometimes one person is feeling more vulnerable or threaten so they close down, begin to show less of their true selves and may become defensive even.
A prideful spirit will always display what they think the other person(s) needs to see but will hide the truth. You cannot have a genuine and honest relationship and hold onto pride; but these cannot coexist. The bible tells us that pride goes before there's destruction and comes before a fall. (Proverbs 16:18)
Here is an example:
A few years ago, I was counseling a young man who shared a story which was quite enlightening.
He was dating this young woman who told him that she had fallen in love with him. He said he never told her how he really felt, and he tried not to show it when they were together although he always enjoyed being with her and thought about her all of the time when they were apart. He knew he had fallen in love with her too, yet he chose to keep this hidden. He did it so well that after a while, she was convinced. She thought, perhaps he didn't love her. A few months later she decided to take a job out of state. Eventually they stopped communicating altogether. Within a year she met someone else, and a few months later she got married.
He eventually married a couple of years later to someone else, but he wasn’t happy and was divorced within three years. He told me that “the one he let get away was always the one he absolutely loved, and he had never stopped loving her even after he married someone else. He regretted his decision. Sure, he was willing to admit it now that he let his pride get in the way, but it was too little too late. His own actions kept him from the best thing that could have happened to him. He still wrestles with this today.
Pride will hide you from the best things in life: love, friendships, good working relationships, even the chance to find your one and true love. The bible says when pride comes, then comes disgrace” (Proverbs 11:2). God hates pride so much that it is addressed more than 33 times throughout the bible.
Be honest with yourself:
Would you rather lose than show your true feelings? Are you so afraid of being hurt that you’d rather hide? Prepare for losses then.
WORDS OF WISDOM
Part of growing emotionally is learning how to trust even in the most delicate situations. We don’t always know who or when we can trust with our heart, but God knows and that’s why we must pray and ask him for guidance. He will give you peace about this situation and the person so there would not be a need to hide.
I believe God puts people in our lives, some temporarily and others for the long haul. You cannot hide your feelings because you are fearful that
a. Someone may hurt you
b. They will not like what they see when you reveal the real you
c. You don’t know how they will respond if they see the real you.
You cannot hide your feelings because of fear of being hurt. Why? It is through hurt and pain and sometimes adversarial situations that we learn about ourselves and who we want or don’t want to be a part of it. It is how we grow. You cannot grow without going through something at some point, so when you allow your pride to dictate to you a false presence unlike who you really are, you are setting yourself up for failure and future obstacles. You may not hurt now but it will come later. Pride is a dangerous thing to carry.
How much do you stand to lose by hiding behind the real you? If they don’t like the real you, then the relationship wasn’t meant to be, and God has someone better for you. Meanwhile, take that load off and feel better about being you.
Let go of the pride because it may be blocking you from having the best and right people in your life. You cannot know true happiness until you are connected to the right people that God places in your path. As long as you hold onto your pride (and your ego) you are forfeiting something you need and eventually you’re the one that is suffering.
Be Your Best Always
Amy
PERSONAL GROWTH, LOVE & RELATIONSHIP BLOGS
Who Do You Think You Are?
Name calling has escalated to epidemic proportions these days, especially with social media, viral videos, and primetime TV at our disposal. Most of the time, the one doing the name calling is CLUELESS to who they think you are inside. There are people who actually think it’s okay, and fashionable to be abrasive, and hostile. While insulting you they have the nerve to say "they don't give a #$@C&." In actuality, it shows who they really are.
I was at a small social gathering when a person whom I thought I had a fairly good working relationship with, well,(at least I thought I did) starting flinging verbal insults at me because I didn’t agree with her and because I wouldn’t let her do what she wanted. After I got over the initial shock of what she said, and in front of everyone, I kindly addressed her in a soft but firm tone, as to not cause a scene, “be careful because your horns are showing”, in other words, you’re acting that a real devil. It was my way of pointing out to her how she was acting and looked, without calling her the name that was floating around in my head at the time.
It's unbelievable sometimes how people will take things too far and this is what I’m addressing today in this blog. Maybe you’ve personally encountered someone who was verbally offense or know someone who experienced it. I admit, it doesn’t feel good to be insulted, and called names and especially in public. Most often than not, insults are accompanied by rude and obscene profanity.
It’s enough to make you want to hurl something out them, and worse things could happened as a result. Sometimes, it’s not worth responding to some of the foolish and off the wall stuff. In the Bible says in Proverbs 16:4-5. "Do not answer a fool according to his foolishness or you will be just like him".
Honestly, it’s human nature to want to throw back after an attack, but why stoop to their level? Will it make you feel better to call them a “B$#@” or “M*%#” (profanities) because they called you one? Nope, because you’re still going to be just as upset, agitated, and angry with them after you’ve said your piece. I mean really?…… Who do they think they are for saying those things to you, they don’t know you, right?
It's a known fact that people who habitually insult others have a lot of insecurities. They are generally unhappy people. They enjoy using slanderous and degrading words because they don’t feel good about themselves, so they get a little satisfaction from trying to make you feel bad because they're not content.
There is a certain feeling of confidence when you know who you and you feel good about yourself. Always look within and ask yourself, is who do I think I am?
Assess who you are by these:
●When you know who you are, inside and out then you have no need to belittle others, even if they do it to you.
●When you know who you are no one else can make you feel inadequate, and less than who God made you to be. Know what potential lies within you.
●When you know who you are, it doesn’t matter what others think, only that you are in control of your destiny, and you decide whose and what opinion matters not.
Personal Experience/Testimony:
When my granddaughter was 3 years old, and her older brother was around 6, he got angry with her because he thought she was being a menus; “she’s so aggravating” he would say. Honestly, she was only being a bouncy and bubbly little sister who wanted her brother’s attention, but he wanted to play his video game and she was distracting him. So, he yelled at her, “that’s why you’re so ugly”. She ran to me with hurt feelings and crying, “ J- called me ugly”. “Well, are you ugly?”, I asked her. She replied, “no”. “Then why are you so upset about something you know that you’re not?” After sharing a few more positive and encouraging words with her. She quickly dried her tears and went back to playing as if he had never be insulted. Because she knew within herself that she wasn’t an ugly girl. As a matter of fact, everywhere she went, strangers as well as family and friends admired her beauty. She captured the attention of on lookers nearly everywhere she went, even as basic as in a grocery store.
●Maybe she was upset because she loved her brother too much, in that moment she believed what he was telling her was actual true.
●Maybe she needed reassurance that what he was telling her wasn’t true even though she knew better.
All along the way, as she was growing up I kept reminding her of who she was, what she could become in life, what lies within her. This is very important for children because it shapes their little minds to think greater. Just one year later this same little girl had her first solo stage dance performance before an audience, fearless and brave. By age 5 she had her first solo theatrical dance performance. At ages 7-8 she stared in a commercial and YouTube film presentations. At 9 she had her first acting role in a nationwide movie. At only 11 years old she has performed before thousands in theater musicals and acting roles.
It matters how you think about yourself, so don’t allow someone to tell you who you are or are not. Don’t let anyone rob you of who you or will become. How can you continue to accept the criticism from someone whose opinion doesn’t really count?
Where you are now in life does not define what you will become or where you will be later. Even if you value certain one’s opinions, the only two real opinions that matter are A) who does God says you are, if you don’t know yet you will discover it in time and B) What you feel and know about yourself should always lead you on a positive outcome, even if you’re not quite there yet.
You know who you are. You know what you need to work on. You have dreams and goals you want to achieve.
►Don’t allow anyone to make you feel devalued.
►Don’t let anger consume you in forfeiting your dreams.
W-A-I-T, HOLD -UP….. WHAT DID THEY JUST SAY ABOUT YOU? NO, I DON’T THINK SO, BECAUSE THEIR OPINIONS, INSULTS, INAPPRORAITE WORDS DON’T MATTER. YOU’VE GOT SOMEWHERE TO, SOMEONE TO BE AND THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERS!!
My Best to You Always,
Amy
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